The Department of Justice recently announced the creation of the “Anti-Weaponization Fund.” It is a $1.776 billion pool of money, established as part of a settlement in which the President sued the government he actually runs, and then settled that suit with himself. It is a masterpiece of administrative theater—a fund designed to compensate people for being “wronged” by prior administrations, administered by the very appointees who are currently redefining what “wronged” means.
It is, in every sense of the word, a joke. But it’s a joke with a very high price tag and a rather grim punchline.
I’ve decided to participate. Not because I expect a check—the idea that this fund would recognize a grievance that doesn’t align with the current administration’s preferred narrative is, frankly, adorable—but because if we are going to have a fee schedule for the weaponization of federal power, I might as well submit my receipt.
I am filing a formal protest claim. I’m not asking for money; I’m asking for the principle of the thing. I am submitting a claim that points out the absurdity of a $2 billion “slush fund” being used to settle personal litigation, while the actual machinery of government is being turned against law firms, universities, and even the very concept of impartial prosecution. I am filing because when “weaponization” becomes a partisan tool for redistribution rather than a legal standard, the concept of the Republic starts to look like a very expensive hobby.
If you find yourself feeling that same sense of weary disbelief—that “dude, where is my country?” sensation—you aren’t alone. And you don’t have to just sit there and watch the ledger grow.
I’ve attached my formal claim form below. It is a template for anyone else who wants to participate in this particular brand of satirical civil disobedience. Use it. Submit it. Let’s see if the Department can handle a flood of “claims” that don’t come with a political endorsement attached.
We might not be able to stop the current, but we can certainly make sure it’s documented.